


if we were vampires

by ghibli_haikyuu



Series: Kagehina Week 2020 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Day 5, Established Relationship, Falling Out of Love, Friends to Lovers, KageHina Week 2020, Letters, M/M, day 5 - supernatural, if we were vampires, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghibli_haikyuu/pseuds/ghibli_haikyuu
Summary: Is forever too long to love somebody?Maybe for some.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Kagehina Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789159
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43
Collections: Kagehina Week 2020





	if we were vampires

**Author's Note:**

> hello this is the biggest shit show of my kagehina week fics but its fine!   
> i got inspiration from this from the song if we were vampires by jason isbell and the 400 unit and i would recommend listening to it just because it is amazing and definitely one of my favorite songs ever

_If we were vampires and death was a joke_

_We’d go out on the sidewalk and smoke_

_And laugh at all the lovers and their plans_

_I wouldn’t feel the need to hold your hand_

_Maybe time running out is a gift_

The infinite promises of immortality. The careless nights that could pass by with no consequence. The knowledge that this could go on forever.

Kageyama Tobio never thought that the endlessness of everything would be the curse of being a vampire.

Sure, finding a sustainable source of blood was a curse in and of itself, but immortality made everything so perfectly meaningless.

It was a blessing at first, but now all he could do is look at the one person he cared about and simply wish that they could have the chance to grow old together.

When Kageyama first became a vampire, everything was taken from him. His family, his friends, his home. Everything that he loved.

He sought refuge in the local clan, searching for some kind of savior and instead found the hellish nightmare that was the life of a city vampire. And worst of all, countless innocent people, most half-dead or already there, just waiting for the moment they could be left in peace.

He had fled. On his way out, he ran into a short, orange haired boy. The boy had scared eyes and was shaking head to toe. His arms and the front of his shirt were soaked with blood.

“Who are you? Is this… I did a bad thing,” he had said, his voice threatening to crack.

“You can’t stay here,” Kageyama had replied. He grabbed the boys bloody wrist and together they found an old, abandoned building. Kageyama told the shorter boy about what he had seen and they agreed that something had to be done.

His name was Hinata Shouyou. And he was Kageyama’s only friend.

After months of living on the streets and recruiting as many new vampires as they could they had formed somewhat of a rag-tag group of young people looking for reform.

Together the group took down the leaders of the city clan and rebuilt it from the ground. There were no more unwilling human captors and they had a few people in the blood bank who were willing to smuggle out bags each night. And at the head of the operation were Kageyama and Hinata, bright-eyed and in love, the rest of time in front of them.

It had been years since those days. Kageyama felt old now, even though he still wore the face of a 17 year old boy.

He lived in a lavish room on the top floor of an old hotel in the center of Tokyo. He stood on a balcony looking out across the washed out night sky, sipping a glass of warm blood.

It was his birthday.

His 100 th one, to be exact.

It wasn’t a good feeling, to say the least.

Everything from his past life was gone. There was no family he knew that was alive. The city was nearly unrecognizable. There was only one thing that had stayed.

And yet when he looked at Hinata, his heart didn’t race like it used to (metaphorically race, of course).

Kageyama had gotten used to it, he knew that. He and Hinata looked exactly the same as the day they had met. They had spent a lifetime together. Usually that was all people got. He knew there were people who would jump at the chance to spend endless lifetimes with the person they love.

They could never know what endless lifetimes really meant.

Kageyama was falling out of love. __

“Happy birthday, Tobs,” Hinata said quietly, joining Kageyama on the balcony.

“Thanks,” he responded, his voice barely above a whisper. They stood in silence for a few moments, almost as if everything that needed to be said had already been said.

“It’s the one nice thing about being a vampire that I never appreciate,” Hinata mused. “Temperature has no effect so standing outside on a freezing December day is the same as any other day.” It was true. The cold winter air ripped through his bones, but it didn’t matter.

“Do you ever get tired of this?” Kageyama asked suddenly.

“Tired of what?” Hinata asked. There was barely any emotion in his voice.

“This.” Kageyama made a vague gesture with his arms. “We live forever, Shouyou. Do you ever wish… that there was an end date?”

“All the time.”

“Shouyou?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I’m in love with you anymore.”

The silence was deafening. No breathing, no nervous shifts. The wind had even stopped. Hinata held his position, staring out at the dark horizon, his expression the same as before.

“I know,” he said after a moment that seemed to last forever.

“Are you mad?”

“I’m mad you didn’t say anything earlier.” There it was again, the flat voice that was once so uncharacteristic to him.

“What do you mean?”

“Tobio, I’m not blind.” It sounded like he didn’t even care. Kageyama knew better. “I’ve known you for long enough to know what you’re feeling and what you’re not feeling, even when you try to hide it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Forever is a long time to love someone.”

“Do you still love me?” Hinata’s shoulder tensed just in the slightest and Kageyama already knew the answer. Just as Hinata could read him, he knew everything Hinata tried to hide.

“It doesn’t matter.” It did. Because whether or not Kageyama was still in love with him, Hinata was still the one person he cared about most. He was still his best friend, regardless.

They stayed on the balcony until the first hint of sunrise appeared on the horizon. This year, Kageyama’s birthday happened to fall on the shortest day of the year, making this the latest he had stayed out in the morning all year. He lingered for a few moments longer than Hinata and when he came back into the bedroom, found Hinata already fast asleep on their bed. He had left Kageyama’s side open, as usual.

As Kageyama climbed into bed, Hinata immediately curled towards him and Kageyama instinctively pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. Hinata draped one arm across Kageyama’s waist and lightly grasped his shirt in the other, nuzzling his head into Kageyama’s chest. Their legs tangled together in their familiar way, and for a moment, all Kageyama could think about was how glad he was that someone was there with him, the dream of living and dying with one person fading into the background, but never quite leaving.

He could never truly forget his one dream, a dream that would forever be impossible.

//

When Kageyama woke up, Hinata was gone. He checked the time and sure enough, the sun had already set. Kageyama tried to fight the guilt rising up in him, but as he got up and still saw no sign of Hinata, his heart sank a little further.

He looked over to his bedside table and saw a small notebook that wasn’t there the day before. He opened the note on top and recognized the familiar handwriting.

_ I could have loved you forever. _

Kageyama clenched his jaw. He should have seen this coming.

Scratch that, he did. He just didn’t want to believe it. That’s why he had given in so easily to Hinata last night. He had known it would be their last.

He opened the book to the first page. It was dated from shortly after they had begun the new vampire clan.

_ I think I love Tobio. We’ve been through so much together, and he’s the only person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. I guess the rest of my life is a really long time, now. It’s kind of hard envisioning spending ‘forever’ with anyone, but if it would be anyone, it would be him. _

_ I feel kind of stupid writing this down right now, but I want to remember this years down the road. I want to be able to remind myself how much I love him, or loved him at one point. I’m sure I’ll need reminding. _

He flipped a few more pages in.

_ I try not to write here very often, there aren’t a lot of pages and I want it to last a long time. And anyway, each day isn’t that eventful in comparison to the others. Today wasn’t that eventful either, but it’s been almost a year since my last entry and I thought I’d give an update. _

_ I asked Tobio if he ever thought about getting married. Of course, we couldn’t get married in an official ceremony or anything, but maybe just something symbolic. He said he didn’t think there was any point. There’s nothing that would make him love me anymore than he already does. _

_ I guess that’s a fine reason, but I think it would still be nice. I don’t know, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Not like we’re gonna get tax benefits or anything. _

Kageyama smiled a little at that last line. It was a very Hinata thing to say. He flipped to the middle of the book and found an entry from only 20 years ago.

_ I re-read that first entry and I’m kind of surprised I didn’t re-read it earlier. I haven’t needed a reminder that I love Tobio at all, actually. He always manages to give me a reason to love him, even on days when he’s all grumpy and sad and won’t leave our room. _

_ It’s kind of amazing that I found the person for me so early in my life. I’m glad we get to spend the rest of time together. I mean, who gets that lucky? _

No one does, Kageyama thought bitterly. But if anyone did deserve it, it was Hinata.

What if he never saw him again? No, that couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t disappear forever, would he?

He flipped to the end of the notebook, and found an entry from just a few hours before.

_ Hi, Kageyama. _

_ I wasn’t sure if I should give this to you or not, but I thought it would be a good way for you to remember me. This was mostly about you, anyway. I always found it easier to be honest in writing. _

_ I’m sorry I had to leave. I know you’ll be mad, and you should be. It’s been hard, the past few months, maybe years, I don’t know, it’s so hard to keep track of time. I could tell that things were different with you, and I’m not sure I could have survived any more of that. I’m sure you noticed things were different with me, I could even tell you knew this morning. _

_ I still love you, and I know you already know that. That’s why I think you’ll understand why I can’t be around you anymore. I couldn’t stand seeing you fall in love with another person. And you should. You should be happy, even if it isn’t with me. _

_ This is proving much harder than I thought it would be. Right now, I’m sitting at the old desk at the back of our room and you’re sleeping on your back, one hand on your chest and one outstretched to the side of the bed where I was laying just a few minutes ago. I wish I could wake up to this sight every morning, but knowing that’s not what you want makes it impossible, because I would never force anything like that on you. _

_ I’m sorry if this seems selfish. I’m trying to really not be selfish. I know if I stayed I wouldn’t be able to stop being selfish, so this is the best I can do. _

_ You’re my sun and my moon and my stars. Just as I wish I could see the sun again, I wish I could look at you and not feel the growing void between us. Maybe someday. _

_ I have a friend who lives over in a town a couple hours from here. He says there’s a small clan there, friendly, peaceful. I think it’ll be good for me. _

_ I would tell you where, but I don’t want you visiting. I’m sorry. If you ever really need me, just ask around and someone will know. _

_ We’ll see each other again. I know we will. It might just be a while. It’s not like either of us are in danger of running out of time, right? _

_ Maybe we can pick back up in a couple hundred years. _

_ All I ask is that you don’t forget about me. Not when you find someone new, not when it seems like I was just a figment of your distant past. Remember how important we are to each other, even when that inevitably fades with time. Know that I’ll never forget. _

_ Thank you, Tobio. Thank you for loving me and for making every moment since I’ve known you the best that it can be. _

_ I’ll see you around, okay? _

_ Love, _

_ Shouyou _

Kageyama rubbed his eyes, willing himself not to cry. He could already feel the ache from not having Hinata by his side growing in his chest, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it once might have been.

Nothing was over. Not yet.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm very sorry about whole thing but i hope you guys enjoyed it! who knows from where in the depths of my brain that came from lmao


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